Before I ever opened this magazine, I'll admit that I really resented the inflammatory headline.
Are You Mom Enough? This is exactly what mothers say to each other all the time when discussing feeding choices, while merrily strolling through the park. We feel the need to justify our choices, conditioned to be defensive by those condescending Breast is Best commercials. While breast milk is best for baby, we've conflated that to mean that the breastfeeding mother is the superior parent. In reality, there's a multitude of reasons why a woman may not breast feed. Maybe her workplace doesn't support it. Maybe her breasts are rebellious and won't do their job. Maybe her kid never detaches (My Aidan) and she can't be a 24/7 diner because she has other kids at home. Maybe she just didn't want to. Who knows?
What we should be doing, Ladies, is telling the rest of the universe to Fuck Off and support each other. I didn't find breastfeeding to be a magical experience, but I find it horribly offensive on your behalf that others won't allow you to do it in public. Or post a picture of it on Facebook.
There are so many choices to make and judgement begins well before baby comes home, beginning with a woman's age, marital status, and income. Women who don't get testing done are viewed as incompetent and those who do get it done must only want to abort if problems arise. Homebirthers are just asking for problems being away from a hospital. However, delivery rooms do not offer the same superior environment of the Superbirther who champions her way through the miracle of childbirth without so much as an Advil.
The list is endless but the bottom line is that in today's society, choices have become a competition; a chess move in the war to win. Why have we declared war on ourselves when it's possible for everyone to be a winner?
Women have spent the last 100 years trying to accrue the options we currently have.Think about it. Simply by having choices now, we've won the war. If bickering mommies were to shift focus to bettering public education, we could do amazing things for our children. Even those mommies who prefer homeschool would benefit. We could collectively improve Women's Healthcare. Or shift the war to stop bullying in our neighborhoods, the crime levels of young adults, or suicide prevention. The controversial topics will still be there for us to bicker about, but if we keep our eyes on the prize, we can change several negatives about the systems our children will eventually age in to.
A woman's superpower is (among others) the ability to open her heart. Love can be shown in a million different ways and it really does impact the world. But first, we have to start with each other.
Despite the sensationalist headline, I'm glad I opened this article. It solidified my feelings that we've gone too far in the Mommy Wars. The headline alone made me think about my past feelings and re-examine the need to justify my choices. At the very least, I feel compelled to vocally support your choice and encourage Mommies everywhere to do the same. It's time to move on!
